Michele Womble - Outside

Outside

Song four on The Calling of a Priest

Outside. (Rom. 1:6) I wrote Outside sitting on the shore of the Adriatic Sea in Croatia. I was wrestling with feeling on the outside of things versus the truth that I am in Him and He is in me, that I belong to Him, and so I am never outside. I remember specific times as a child and a young adult when I felt joy and pain in the beauty of a sunset because I wished I could enter into the beauty and be a part of it. I feel sometimes somehow alienated, outside of the world that I live in, even like my presence in it mars it. And yet, I am part of it and not a spectator. The truth is that we were created by God as part of His creation, and yes, there was the fall, and yes, it does mar things, but He is redeeming it, and God's creation (including me) is beautiful, and mankind was, and is, beautiful as well, especially redeemed. I am part of all this, part of His story, part of His creation - not outside but in the story,in the beauty, in His heart.

I originally envisioned this song with an orchestra. I failed to make that clear when I gave it to a friend to do the arrangement for it. He really likes electric guitars and rock. When he gave me the first bars of the song to listen to, I was surprised. But as I thought about it, I felt that the tension and dissonance in the song fit the feeling, the tension and angst of being on the outside. So I gave it back to him to finish as he envisioned it.

For those of you who don't like rock, it won't hurt my feelings if you skip the song. But take the message that reconciling the reality- that we are part of this fallen world and the cause of this fallen world and at the same time written on His heart and part of the beauty He has and is creating here; that we are in the world and not of it - can feel jarring. And yet it is part of our calling - to know that we are part of all this, in the midst of the pain and the fall and the beauty and the joy -part of what He is doing, and in His heart.

*trivia - I enjoy a wide variety of music which does include hard rock, another reason why it seemed fitting. Although I did enjoy it more when I was younger than I do now.

Outside Lyrics

You want me to not mind being on the outside

I've been on the outside for all my life it seems

and it seems that's where You've always wanted me to be

so here I am, on the outside again.

Always reluctant to leave

Always giving a backward glance

never able to get enough

and never able to get completely in

I want to be part of things forever

part of the beauty that I see

swept up into it eternally